I couldn't stay away..

Yesterday I went to Hutchens for lunch. I don't think I could've survived without seeing those kids any longer. I was literally miserable. I feel like a huge piece of my life is just gone. I don't think a lot of people understand why I am so attached to these 5th graders, but I just spent 4 months with them... Monday - Friday from 7:30 - 3:30. I saw them more than I saw my family, Josh, or friends. They become my own family. I could tell when they were having good or bad days... I knew who needed to be looked after and who could be sneaky. I knew them and they knew me. And when I woke up Monday... everything that I knew for the past four months wasn't there anymore. Of course I can go up there... but it's not the same. I miss them. So I decided to end my misery yesterday and go eat lunch. When I opened Mrs. Lomax's door and heard "MISS CALVERTTTT!!!!" that hole in my heart was filled instantly. It was so good to see their faces. They all got up to give me hugs and it just felt so good. I don't know what I am going to do when summer break comes and I won't see them. :[ Now I must share about Seth. He was in Mrs. Lomax's room when I came in.... I saw that head fly around when he heard Ms. Calvert and his face broke into a smile. He got up and stood behind everything waiting to give me a hug. I could see his impatience growing. I asked him why he wasn't my facebook friend and he explained he couldn't use his computer. That made me feel better because I thought he was upset with me for leaving. We went to lunch and I told him I would save a seat for him by me. He had some problems in the lunch line because his mother hasn't paid for his lunch plan yet. Well that upset him and I think he thought I didn't save him a seat because my purse was beside me, so he went to sit at the table the furthest away .. and I look at him and give him the what are you doing look... and motion for him to come down by me. You could tell he enjoyed the fact that I actually did want him to sit by me. He's so neglected for attention. When he gets upset about anything it sends him into a frenzy. I guess because he doesn't have anyone to really talk too and he gets embarrassed really easily. I asked about his weekend and he shook his head and I asked what was wrong and he said it wasn't long enough. So I said well only a few more weeks till summer and he said I don't want it to be summer because then I won't get to see you anymore. Ok even as I type this my face is smiling. I tried SO hard to make this child trust me and be my friend. He doesn't just go around saying this kind of stuff to everyone. He keeps to himself unless he's acting out. Normally he's quiet ... so for him to openly reveal his feelings is major progress! I asked him if he was going on the field trip and he said no and I asked why and he replied "my moms too lazy to give me money" wow.. it's a $5 field trip and she can't even try to make him happy. He asked if I was going and I said yes.. well this sent him over the edge... so I told him I would take care of it. I talked to Mrs. Lomax and Mrs. Griffin and we got it settled so he's coming. :] I wish I could've been there to tell him he was getting to go. I know it made him happy. This whole semester was so much more than I could have ever imagined because I finally made a huge impact on a child's life and it made all the difference. Mrs. Griffin loves him just like I do.. and she explained to me how his birthday was ruined. Apparently Seth and his Mom got into a fight and when she dropped him off at school she told him to have a "happy fcking birthday" Why would you ever speak to your child that way? I don't care what he did or didn't do.. it was his birthday and she ruined it. He didn't see her the rest of the night because she went out with her friends. My heart breaks for him and I wish I could just take him and his sister home with me. They're so precious. He was trying so hard to get me to stay yesterday, but I had to go.. He wanted to show me something on the computer but it wouldn't work, so I got up to leave and he goes Miss C I want a hug... :] I know no one really understands why this makes me so happy. If you had been watching the past four months you would. I don't even want to think about what's gonna happen when I won't get to see him... :[ I've decided if he gets to stay with me during the field trip that I am going to try and find out as much about him as possible. I want to know his favorite color... favorite everything. I literally can not wait for the next two days. Two WHOLE days with my kids!!!!!!!!!! Lunch was not enough.. I couldn't talk to all of them. I told Seth he ruined my picture because he looked so miserable and I don't want to remember him that way... he started smiling and said ok ok miss c we can take one on friday... I said you bet we will! When we were walking down the hall back to the room he was walking by me and Elijah was walking with us.. Seth was trying to tell me about dying his hair hot pink (? lol) and Elijah was trying to tell me something and Seth was like pushing him away because he didn't want him talking to me too.. haha I've noticed that a lot he doesn't like me to give my attention away. If someone else comes up to talk to me he tries to get them to go away. I guess he's not use to the attention so he tries to take full advantage of it. Today is going to be one long day.... I can't wait for tomorrow. Jackson is getting fixed, which is scary... I am taking him at 7:30 and then I am going straight to school. I'll def blog sometime soon to update on my time back with my 5th graders!!!!